...OR, better yet, does anybody feel me? You know the drill. The millions of insignificant insecurities that the enemy feeds to our brains on a daily basis. These thoughts and questions are so small and so unimportant but the residual feelings that connect to them could last a lifetime. These thoughts often start when we are younger and over time, the become a part of us. For the majority of my life the desire for men to notice me was that of a strong one. I didn't want anything from these men except their attention. I wanted to hear that someone thought that I was beautiful or sexy or even to have them express interest in me; but I later found out that these were things that I didn't feel for myself. I used these compliments as a source of validation for my pseudo-confidence. No--I never went around soliciting compliments from people lol...however there was that constant looking over my shoulder with the hopes of somebody noticing that I was there. Once I realized that this was indeed an issue that I needed to be delivered from, the first thing that I thought was to pray against what the old saints called a "fast spirit" lol--you know; that same lustful, seductive spirit that Jezebel had in the Bible. I thought surely, this isn't something that I could be dealing with! And in actuality...it wasn't. One night during praise & worship at our regular mid-week Bible Study, God revealed something to me that I never knew I struggled with. Clear as day, as if He whispered it in my ear, the Lord showed me that my real issue was that I didn't want to be INVISIBLE. All these years I've been screaming for MY place, not trying to be low-key promiscuous smh (thank God!) I was never that pathetic little girl that I always thought that I was; I just never understood God's Love for me. I didn't know that He loved LYNN as an individual. I didn't feel that I deserved to pray to Him for anything and everything that I wanted. I didn't feel that I deserved for Him to hear me. I didn't make the connection that just as parents overlook our faults and disrespectful ways and words and take care of our needs that God could and WOULD do the same for me. Talk about an identity crises smh...all this time THAT was what I was struggling with...an identity crisis that could have been resolved had I not neglected the one relationship that I never paid enough attention to: my relationship with Jesus. If I had sought after His attention and constantly checked over my shoulder to see if He was looking at me, I could have walked into the safety of His arms years ago. But one thing that I don't regret is the process that it took to get me to where I am now.
I have learned of the beauty in knowing Him. I have learned that His love is delicately sprinkled across every single page of the Word. I have learned that I am an heir of God and co-heirs with Christ (Rom. 8:17)...not because I am so good or deserving but because I am His child and He WANTS to give me heaven and earth. YOU too are a part of this same inheritance! Did YOU know that?! Did you know that YOU are God's Baby?...His Pumpkin?...His PoohBear?...His Sweet Sweet Angel?...His Precious?! God sees YOU just as your mommy and daddy sees YOU. The only difference is that He is actually able to deliver every single want, need, and promise that He's made to YOU and NOTHING can get in His way or stop Him from doing it! That's enough to make me shout right there lol! YOU ARE NOT INVISIBLE! God sees YOU and because YOU belong to Him...just as everybody in town knows your mama and your last name and you'll always be caught doing anything wrong...people will see Him in YOU. Live your life, not to be seen, but KNOWING that He sees YOU and trying to let others see Him in YOU.
Take comfort in knowing His Promises. I leave with YOU a few that I'm using as firewood to set my soul on fire.
1 Corinthians 2:9- "But as it is written: Eye have not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." (NKLV)
Mark 11:23- "For assuredly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says" (NKJV)
Psalms 91:14- "Because he [that's YOU] has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known my name" (NKLV)
I have learned of the beauty in knowing Him. I have learned that His love is delicately sprinkled across every single page of the Word. I have learned that I am an heir of God and co-heirs with Christ (Rom. 8:17)...not because I am so good or deserving but because I am His child and He WANTS to give me heaven and earth. YOU too are a part of this same inheritance! Did YOU know that?! Did you know that YOU are God's Baby?...His Pumpkin?...His PoohBear?...His Sweet Sweet Angel?...His Precious?! God sees YOU just as your mommy and daddy sees YOU. The only difference is that He is actually able to deliver every single want, need, and promise that He's made to YOU and NOTHING can get in His way or stop Him from doing it! That's enough to make me shout right there lol! YOU ARE NOT INVISIBLE! God sees YOU and because YOU belong to Him...just as everybody in town knows your mama and your last name and you'll always be caught doing anything wrong...people will see Him in YOU. Live your life, not to be seen, but KNOWING that He sees YOU and trying to let others see Him in YOU.
Take comfort in knowing His Promises. I leave with YOU a few that I'm using as firewood to set my soul on fire.
1 Corinthians 2:9- "But as it is written: Eye have not seen, nor ear heard, Nor have entered into the heart of man the things which God has prepared for those who love Him." (NKLV)
Mark 11:23- "For assuredly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed and be cast into the sea' and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says" (NKJV)
Psalms 91:14- "Because he [that's YOU] has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he has known my name" (NKLV)
